Tips for Visiting Someone in a Nursing Home or Assisted Living

Visiting a loved one in a nursing center is very important. It breaks up their routine, keeps them connected with their family and the community and continues your bond with your aging relative. You may have the opportunity to provide differing levels of care and support during your visits. Some ideas:

  • Plan your visits in advance. Knowing when to expect a visit not only gives the loved one something to look forward to, but it respects their schedule and their dignity. Just as you would when visiting a friend, ask what a good time and day would be for your visit. Ask if there is anything they need or would like you to bring. And show up when you say you will.
  • Be affectionate. So many studies have been done on the power of the human touch. Your loved one may love your hugs, or they may want you to show affection through combing their hair, or giving them a backrub. Ask what they’d prefer.
  • Be a good listener. Your loved one may have much to share. Respect their stories, and their willingness to share their life with you in this way.
  • Bring a photo album video or DVD of activities/events. Sharing photos is always a great conversation-starter, and it may help aging relatives to see photos when you are sharing stories about other family members. You may even choose to make a poster of your family tree or collage or recent family events. A great project for your children!
  • Bring the kids. Speaking of children, bring them along on your visits. You are modeling respectful behavior for them. They will learn much from these visits. On the way to the center, talk about the aging process. Prepare them for what they may experience there, including unfamiliar sounds or smells. They may even bring some art projects to share with your loved one. Videos of your children’s special events are fun to watch together.
  • Take your loved one out frequently. If their health permits, take your loved one out to a favorite park, restaurant, museum, or to church or synagogue regularly. Remaining an active member of the community is important to an aging individual’s identity and sense of self. If they moved to a brand new community, taking them out to get to know the area will help them feel more at home.
  • Help your loved one maintain their routine. When you can, take your loved one to their hairdresser, out shopping, to visit friends, to their card club or exercise group outside the nursing center. Again, these activities are important to identity and a sense of well-being.
  • Keep your loved one a vital part of your family. When possible, take your aging relative to your family holiday and birthday celebrations. Take plenty of pictures to share with them later. They will be able to relive those moments when they have time of their own. And they can share the photos with their friends at the center.
  • Address and treat your loved one and the other residents as adults, not as children. Make every effort not to be condescending or to placate residents.
  • Smile and say hello. Many residents of nursing centers do not receive visitors; they may wish to communicate with you when you visit your loved one. Respect them as individuals who also need attention and respect. You may even make a new friend.