Making a Smooth Adjustment

Change is difficult for anyone, and is one of the top stressors in our lives. Help your loved one make a smooth transition to their new living environment.

You may want to visit with your loved one several times before the move, even eat a few meals in the dining room. This gives them the opportunity to meet people, make new friends and feel comfortable with their surroundings before they become more permanent.

Write a letter to the staff, filling them in on your loved one's history, including jobs or military service they may be particularly proud of; their personality; their hometown, marriage, birthplace, church affiliation and involvement, and other significant facts that make them unique; this can help the staff get to know your relative quickly, and allow your relative to feel a little more at home right away.

Ensure that your loved one's faith community (congregation, temple, mosque, etc.) is aware of the move before it happens. The religious leaders and members may be able to help your loved one discuss their hopes and fears about the changes coming up. Importantly, they can explain how your loved one may stay invovled in the life and mission of the congregation, even in spite of whatever new limitations there may be.

Help your loved one decorate their room with memorable photos, awards or special interests. These will not only help them feel at home but will be great conversation starters for staff and visitors.

Be sure you've included your loved one in important decisions about their possessions, including the sale or transfer of their home.

Don't minimize the importance of a pet in your loved one's life. Usually, pets will not be able to move to a residence, but some facilities actually have a pet of their own. Do your best to help this relationship continue.

Perhaps you care for the pet, and bring it to the residence for visits regularly. Or your loved one visits the pet at your home. These attachments are strong, and losing the pet may represent another loss for your loved one. Be sure they have photographs of their pet in their new home.

Be aware that your loved one may be extraordinarily sad or angry when they move to a residence. This is an emotional time for your loved one, a move of this type represents aging, a dependence on others and further movement toward the end of their life. Try not to take offense, but exercise all the patience and understanding you can. The experience may be emotionally overwhelming You and your family

Get involved with the facility. There are many ways to be involved. Your caregiving doesn't stop because Mom or Dad is in the care of a facility.