Stress and Caregiving

“Finish each day and be done with it. You have done what you could; some blunders and absurdities have crept in; forget them as soon as you can. Tomorrow is a new day; you shall begin it serenely and with too high a spirit to be encumbered with your old nonsense.”
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Caregiving Evokes Many Emotions

Taking on the responsibility of caring for an ailing or aging loved one is impactful to your life on every level. It may help to remember that it can also be a joyful experience.

Many caregivers find that through their care, they are healing family wounds by spending more time than they would normally have with their loved one. Caregivers also have the opportunity to say everything they’ve wanted to say to an aging loved one. You’ll never say, “I never got to say ‘I love you’ to Mom,” when you’ve shown that love every day in your caregiving.

In addition, you can be strengthened knowing that you are providing the level of care for your loved one that perhaps they provided for you as a child. There’s real satisfaction in that “circle of life” knowledge.

Caregiving isn’t all joyful, however. And you need to be prepared for those stresses. It is important to acknowledge your own limits, times when you’re becoming frustrated and times when you need a break. Those are the times when you call on your caregiving team and take time to deal with your own stresses.

Physical Impact

Some caregiving can be physical. Loved ones may require physical assistance getting into and out of bed, the bathtub, the car. Caring for an aging individual also requires additional laundry, limitations on your social outings and increased concern for the physical safety of your loved one.

Emotional Impact

It can be very upsetting to realize that your loved one is no longer the person they were … [that they need your assistance with even simple tasks … that they may not be able to remember things anymore. And that their condition continues to worsen.]

Helping your loved one with basic needs such as toileting, bathing and dressing can cause enormous stress. It’s difficult to see a loved one decline. But you can derive satisfaction from the fact that you are present for those needs, that you are helping your loved one when they need you the most. You are providing a life-giving service. Recognize too that this may be an emotionally difficult time for your loved one. An individual who has been independent and who now has to rely on others for basic needs can feel demoralized. There will be an adjustment period for both of you, and open communication will help you work through those issues together. or your own sake and that of those in your care.